I was in San Francisco with someone who I thought was the love of my life. My goals, my problems, my relationships were all so different. One year has changed a lot about me and I couldn’t be happier.
The relationships I’ve built in the last year have been instrumental to my growth. I went from a place of worrying that I’d never have enough bridesmaids for a wedding to having friends who are closer to me than a lover has ever been. I’ve learned a lot about what I want from others and it’s nothing short of everything they are. In return, I’m ready to give them all of myself.
I’ve gone from being the expert at my job to being an absolute novice. A sense of imposter syndrome is settling into my perception of myself and the only way I can think to fight it is to keep growing. Become the person I think I can be so I don’t feel like I’m skating by.
Most of you have known me during a time where I was joined at the hip with another person. Some of you know that we are not longer together. It was a decision that I made with a heavy heart but ultimately it was the right one. We were different in a fundamental way and I decided it wasn’t what I wanted anymore.
I followed him to Durham, North Carolina before we parted ways. A decision many scoffed at. I think it was the best thing I could have done. I am realizing that I am a person who thrives under pressure and change. I am thriving now. I have fallen in love with this city and the people who have opened themselves up to me. There is a chapter of my life waiting to be written here.
I’m living with a wonderful woman now, we are at different places in our lives but understand each other in a way that I’ve never felt so quickly. When I call her my soul sister, I mean it.
This is the beginning of a series of blog posts I hope to write for the next month, maybe longer, in an attempt to understand myself. If you want to reach out and chat about what I’ve written, what I’ve made you feel, or something you’ve recently learned about yourself please feel free. I will be an open book and only ask that you do the same.