I constantly crave human interaction. To be able to dive into the minds and histories of those around me feels like I’m cheating life in a way. To be able to share an experience with someone I revere makes the experience so much more valuable to me.
There is a level of validation I get from people around me. I’ve cultivated my personality over the years to mesh well with this ceaseless desire to be around others. When people want to spend time with me it solidifies in me that I am worthy of friendship and love.
Over the years I have learned that I can’t solely rely on others though. In many aspects, and validation is one of them.
I have learned to take my extroversion and apply it inwards. It goes hand-in-hand with my constant desire to understand “why.” If I cannot be my own best friend then how can I truly be someone else’s? If I cannot understand myself how can I understand others?
The trick with my extroversion is that while I constantly seek out the company of others I am just as content when plans fall through and I have to be alone. I’ve learned to become as curious about myself as I am of others. I used to think that I know myself as best as I can. After all, I spend every waking hour with the voice in my head. When I started going to therapy I realized there is so much substance to the person that I am. A type of substance I always tried to uncover in those around me. Taking my solitary moments to explore myself has helped me become a better extrovert, a better friend.
I’ve been described as the most extroverted person some people know. If that’s true I know that being the most of anything can be dangerous. I don’t want the essence of myself to be consumed by desire to be around others. I want to be present and rich in understanding. The journey to self-discovery and understanding is a long and arduous one though. The more questions I ask myself the more questions I uncover.
Maybe, in true extrovert fashion, we can get to know ourselves together?