Getting Lost in the Moment

I went three days without blogging despite telling myself I would blog for 30 days straight. It’s pretty disappointing and I knew I was letting myself down. It would be easy to tell myself that there’s no point in continuing to blog since I’ve already failed at it. But that’s not the type of person I want to be.

Failure is okay. Giving up isn’t okay. I’m back and I’ll keep at it and maybe even understand why I didn’t do it. I know why I didn’t blog though. I spent morning to night out and about with other people, doing work, and generally happy. While not great reasons, I’m not upset about them.

I think it points to an issue I’m already aware of in myself, getting lost in the moment. I might promise to be home by 10pm but realize that I’m having a great time so I don’t come home until 2am. My focus is on my present experience and less on my past decisions. Which I honestly think is pretty flaky. It’s not an attribute I want to keep. Being a person of her word is important to me. I used to struggle with sticking to my word in a much more serious manner when I was younger. It lead to a lot of unhappiness honestly. The constant desire to obtain instant gratification was so detrimental to my long term success in life.

I have gotten a lot better at delaying gratification when it comes to bigger goals and serious promises. It has to be more than that though. Falling into the habit of skipping small goals is going to add up.

Blogging daily, and sticking to it, is a good way to practice the act of sticking to my decisions. Here’s to me trying really hard even when I don’t want to!

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