I made this post private at first and changed my mind when I was done writing it. It felt a little intimate to share, though I wouldn’t consider anything in this post to be over-sharing. I think I just felt a little vulnerable when I began this.
It’s 12:06am. Technically, this counts as today’s blog post. I’m also feeling very inspired to write, so here I am.
I mentioned before that I have a lot of questions for myself. So, here is my totally-not-comprehensive-very-poorly-thought-out list. Subject to change obvs. Fair warning, this is going to be very stream of consciousness.
I went three days without blogging despite telling myself I would blog for 30 days straight. It’s pretty disappointing and I knew I was letting myself down. It would be easy to tell myself that there’s no point in continuing to blog since I’ve already failed at it. But that’s not the type of person I want to be.
It’s so easy to want to save our friends and loved ones from their own poor decisions or their fights with mental illness. We can’t save them though. Only offer support, love, and validation.
I know that I value empathy. Being an empathetic person is a defining characteristic of who I am. But sometimes I take it too far and take the problems of others and put them on my shoulders. I like to think that I can healthily cope with problems. It’s taken years of therapy, introspection, and discomfort for me to consider myself a healthy person.
If I try to take the struggles of my loved ones onto myself I’m not helping them grow. I’m stunting my own growth on one end, and only alleviating pain for a short period of time for them on the other end.
Learning to set boundaries for myself will be important as I continue to develop.
I’ve thrown around the phrase “my public journey of self-discovery” a few times since beginning this blog. I want to expand on what I mean and why I’m doing it.
I’m not a person who is afraid of failing. By acknowledging what can go wrong and that failing is okay I give myself permission to take risks. Failure is exciting, it’s an opportunity to learn and grow.
This extrapolates to my personal relationships.